Yesterday night I had a call with one of the guys from our community.
He was a bit depressed.
“Man, I did everything. I went to conferences.
I blasted everyone on LinkedIn.
I had coffees with a bunch of people.
But it feels like nobody wants to deal with me.
I send emails, follow up… and nothing. No answers.
I did everything you said — and I’m stuck.”
And in my head I was like:
“Bro… I never told you to do that.”
What I meant, what he heard, and what he actually did were three completely different things.
So let’s fix that.
Because if you’re in international trade, and especially in commodities, you need to understand this:
You don’t get deals by “spraying” yourself on the world.
You get deals because people want you in their circle.
Let’s unpack why.
Why International Trade Is a Relationship Business
The commodity world is inherently risky:
- You don’t know if the buyer will accept the goods.
- You don’t know if you’ll be paid on time.
- You don’t know if the quality will match what was promised.
- And if something goes wrong in a country with no real rule of law… good luck enforcing anything.
Legal structures only go so far.
At some point, your real protection is:
“Do I trust this person enough to take this risk with them?”
That’s why relationships de-risk transactions.
And that’s why commodity trading is fundamentally a relationship-based business.
If you want to be good in import/export, you need three things:
- Skills
- Network
- Belief
And honestly, building a network is itself a skill set.
The problem is: most people completely misunderstand what “networking” actually means.
The Illusion of a “Fancy Network”
Let me give you a concrete example.
I have a cousin. Great guy. Super likable. Funny.
From the outside, you’d think he has an amazing network.
He:
- Parties with very rich people
- Hangs around kids of multi-millionaires
- Goes to expensive places
- Always has crazy stories
It looks like he’s extremely well connected.
But here’s the hard reality:
Those people are completely useless for his business.
Not because they’re bad people.
But because they don’t see him as an equal.
He’s always slightly out of place:
- The bill at dinner is €2,000 and he’s quietly stressed about it.
- The others feel that tension.
- He’s “the fun guy”, not “the guy we bring into a serious deal.”
He’s not in the same game as them.
So that “network” doesn’t convert into business.
Now, if my cousin came to me and said:
“Damien, I have this business idea / opportunity — can you introduce me to someone from your network?”
I would do it.
And the person on my side would be happy to talk to him.
Why?
Because I’ve built a different kind of network.
Not one based on flex, parties and selfies.
One based on gravity.
Gravity Networking: Attract, Don’t Chase
Here’s the key idea:
The best network is built by gravity, not chasing.
You don’t build a strong network by:
- Constantly reaching up to people far above your level
- Forcing your way into rooms where you don’t belong
- Pretending you can play at a level you clearly can’t yet afford (financially or professionally)
You build a strong network by:
Doing things that are so interesting, useful, or exciting
that the people you want to meet naturally want to be around you.
You:
- Build companies
- Start a niche flow
- Run a useful newsletter
- Share sharp insights
- Host a meetup
- Create something people talk about
That creates gravity.
When you do cool stuff, you attract cool people.
Not overnight. Not in a week. But steadily, over time.
So if your whole “strategy” is:
- Go to random conferences
- Blast cold LinkedIn messages
- “Grab coffee” with anyone who replies
…and then cry that nothing converts, you’re missing the point.
The Real Problem: You’re Trying to Take More Than You Give
Back to the community member who called me.
He is taking action, which is good.
The issue is how he’s doing it:
- He’s chasing people.
- He’s pushing himself into their inbox.
- He’s essentially saying: “I have this great opportunity for you. Let’s do business.”
But in reality?
The other person is thinking:
“This is not a great opportunity for me.
This is a great opportunity for you to use my balance sheet, my experience, my network.”
People are not stupid.
They can feel when all the value flows one way.
And that’s why the emails get ignored.
That’s why coffees stay coffees.
That’s why no deals close.
“But I’m New. I Have Nothing to Offer.”
This is the part where people get stuck.
“Damien, I’m just starting. I don’t have money, I don’t have flows, I don’t have experience. What can I possibly bring to the table?”
Good question.
Here’s the answer:
- Value is not only money.
A more experienced trader might genuinely enjoy mentoring you. His “return” is satisfaction, legacy, or access to fresh eyes. - You can bring hustle and execution.
Maybe he has flows but no time to work a difficult market. You can be the one on the ground doing the dirty work. - You can bring information.
Local intel, niche contacts, small suppliers nobody else sees — these are valuable. - You can bring leverage.
You take care of operations, paperwork, sourcing, whatever needs doing, so he can take more deals.
The key is:
Understand what the other person actually wants,
then structure the relationship so they clearly get something out of helping you.
Even if they help you “more” at the beginning, there must be a reason — beyond pity.
How to Actually Build a Real Network (Without Being a Leech)
Let’s summarize the right way to approach this.
1. Build something cool that creates gravity
- A small but real trade flow
- A niche deal you understand better than anyone
- A content channel in your niche
- A small, serious community or newsletter
This takes time. That’s normal.
2. While you’re building, be obsessed with what they find valuable
When you reach out to someone more advanced than you, ask yourself:
- Why would they want this?
- What do they lack that I can provide?
- Is there a way this is at least a little bit win–win?
If the honest answer is:
“This is 100% good for me and 0% good for them”
…then don’t be surprised when they ignore you.
3. Remember: relationships must be mutual
Networking is not:
- “I take, you give”
- Or, “I give, you exploit me forever”
Over time, things must balance:
- Sometimes you get more in the beginning.
- Later, you might return the favor.
- Or vice versa.
But the underlying logic must feel fair for both.
If it doesn’t, it dies.
Final Word
If you’re in commodities and you feel like:
- You’re doing “all the right networking things”
- You’re going to events, spamming LinkedIn, drinking coffees
- But nothing is moving…
Maybe it’s not effort you’re missing.
Maybe it’s gravity.
Focus on:
- Building something real
- Understanding what others value
- Creating mutual wins instead of begging for favors
Do that consistently and the right people will start orbiting around you.
And if you want to be surrounded by serious, niche commodity traders (and avoid the brokers circus), you can always check out Shipping & Commodity Academy.
The community only opens a couple of times a year — grab the brochure on the site and you’ll be notified when doors open again.
Ciao.